For years I thought I had to do everything alone. I needed to work it out, I needed to keep my vulnerabilities to myself so no-one could hurt me. Someone close to me gave me the advice, ‘Trust No-One’ – and I believed him. What I didn’t understand at the time was that person had been hurt by someone close to him and he was in pain because of it. Being bullied at school for having red hair also re-enforced that belief. I definitely was not going to let people know my fears as they would use them against me! It was the same when I went in to the workplace.
I started to challenge this belief (which I’ve unfortunately had for 20 years) when I was getting passed over at work for promotion – even though I clearly had the skills and capability. I went to a mentoring event, saw someone I thought would help me, filled in the form and asked for the most senior mentor at the event (that was a bold step for me at the time ). That mentor set me off on a path that has led to me being a Coach today.
So the moral of the story is, be brave and you’ll be surprised at who will offer to help you. I’m not saying it won’t be challenging and emotional but you’ll be surprised at how many people are willing to help without judgement and without telling you what you should and shouldn’t be doing. It is important to find the right person / people for you though. So think about what is important to you and make sure you ask the right questions when searching for that support.